Roger and the Marrow
Roger and the Marrow
It was Godfrey and Philomena’s wedding anniversary and Godfrey was reflecting back over his marital years. He can still remember the first time he went up Philomena’s back passage and rang her bell. Unfortunately for Godfrey it was her Father, Monty who answered the door with a face like a smacked arse on account of taking second place behind his arch rival Jonty in the Marrow growing competition at the Annual Bumthorpe Horticultural Show. Godfrey recalled with fondness those first words from his future Father-in-law “What the f*** have you come as?”.
Something in Monty’s tone told Godfrey that perhaps today was not a good time to ask for his daughters hand but he felt that since he’d been giving her his jolly roger for the past six months he ought to do the decent thing before she fell into the pudding club and he ended up being escorted down the aisle by Monty’s shotgun.
“Sir” he stammered “I…I…have come….to ask for…your daughters hand”.
“Oh have you indeed?” came the sharp reply. “Yyyyyyeess Ssssirr…” replied Godfrey “.
“And what’s your name my I ask?” demanded Monty. “Er…er…Godfrey Sir” he replied.
“Well I’ve got news for you Godfrey Sir. It’s not YOU my Philomena wants mate. She has really noisy dreams at night; keeps me awake all the bloody time. Probably why I lost concentration in the marrow growing competition. No it’s not YOU she wants Godfrey my son. The only one she keeps screaming out for in her sleep is Roger. That’s all I hear all night long ‘Roger, Roger, Yes Yes Roger’. So clear off and shut the gate behind you.
